By me...
life's kinda bored here without personal internet line.haha
My heart is heavy, weighted down with dissapointment, heartbroken moments and just tears . why is it am i not allowed a chance to start anew? i know my mistake and just want another chance....is that such a difficult favour. i thought just as long as i learn my lesson, i will be given a chance... do i have to struggle again..do i have to struggle again..is this my punnishment...is it?? but this is affecting others..its not worth it..it really is not worth it....
I sometimes wonder...would i really make a difference if i actually can turn back time and really gave a second chance to redo everything. would anything be any different...would my life be alot better...or..is this the way it should be...forcing me to the edge...making decisions...facing walls and walls and not a single way out...learning to make another choice and not regret...i may seem tough..but i admit im actually not..if you continue to push me..i dont know when i will actually run out...of strenght
there are questions i want answered..but where to look for them i do not know....i find comfort in my own silence and smile i give out..but how dissapointed i am...i guess..only i will know...why am i typing this..i dont even know...why did i set up a blog page...haha..i dont know..is it to display my affection into the public..is it to display my downs in life ...and let it humour others
is it?
why am i telling all this out..when i hardly tell people around me...are words a way to release my sadness..my tears at night...are spill in words ...all in this page...why though?? i am not asking for comfort from others..i do not really care anymore if there is anyone out there who actually care of me...
i learn to protect myself and yet fail...but stood up stronger than ever and probably will be able to keep that distance...
i pray and hope and wish that You will really look at me and give me a chance..please..
why give me hope and happinese in one day and take it away all in the end...just dont let me hope at all..to avoid anyother dissapointment..ever...again